Like Whoa!

16 Jan 2006

Like whoa! So many things going right. So many things going wrong. So many things just being weird. My life is rolling and coasting. It's the loop-de-loops that always get me.

To sum it all up, I bring you the lyrics of a great new song I've stumbled upon:

“Closer”

What started out as desire, turned into a lover's tryst
Who knew a moth and a flame could ever spawn a love like this
And I need something to taste
Something just a little bit more sweet
But I am sour and more sour
Every time that our lips meet

[Bridge:]
If you're a butterfly I'm suicide by insecticide
If I am kerosene then you're a spark
Just begging to ignite
You'll wish you never met me
(Butterfly) Butterfly, float on by me

[Chorus:]
Never meant to cut so deep (Just enough to bleed)
Feel the sting as you get closer (Closer and closer to me)
Don't let me hold something so delicate (I'll shatter it with a word)
So say something as we get closer and closer
Damn, this is gonna hurt

The ghost of a pathetic past is haunting me here more and more
The skeletons are laughing at me through the closet door
And now past lovers share these covers
Sleeping with my enemies
Thoughts of others come between us
Trigger fits of jealousy

[Bridge]

[Chorus]

You can paint me pretty colors
And dress me how you like
I'm just an ugly moth in love
In a butterfly disguise

And I've been thinking about leaving since the day that we met
Cause if I don't get close when it's all over I'll just forget
'Cause I have seen the end so many times I've played it in my mind
And I am scared to death I never want to see your dark side

If you're a butterfly I'm suicide by insecticide
If I am kerosene then you're a spark
Just begging to ignite
You'll wish you never met me
(Butterfly) Butterfly, float my way

Never meant to cut so deep (Just enough to bleed)
Feel the sting as you get closer (Closer and closer to me)
Don't let me hold something so delicate (I'll shatter it with a word)
So say something as we get closer and closer
Damn, this is gonna hurt
Never meant to cut so deep (Just enough to bleed)
Don't say a thing as we get closer and closer
Damn, this is gonna hurt

So yeah, that pretty much covers it.

I can't seem to ever fall asleep anymore. My insomnia is coming back with a vengeance. I get a little tired around 4-5am, and then I wakeup between 7am and 9am. If I'm lucky and I completely zone out I can fall asleep until 10-11am. On work days like today it doesn't work so well though.

It's probably not even really classifiable as insomnia. I just can't sleep at night. I could sleep all morning, but never at night. This normally only happens for one of a very few reasons:

1. I return to drawing
   
2. I start falling in love
   
3. The moon is in Jupiter and Saturn lines up with the sign of Leo.
   (Okay, so I made up number 3 :p)

So out of those options, I haven't returned to drawing. I learned my lesson with that. So I guess that must mean that I'm falling in love. Even against my better judgement. Even though I don't want too. Well no, that's not right, I do want to, just not quite like this.

I have also heard through some interesting rumours and a couple of interesting job posts, that my dream job; which I turned down earlier this year because of the fact I would have to move back to where I had been; might have just turned up in my own backyard. I'm torn between chasing that dream and being loyal to where I am now. Loyalty is a double edged sword sometimes.

This week marks the end of a short lived era. My best friend who convinced me to come work here in Montreal is leaving the company and moving back east. It kind of majorly sucks. Part of the reason I came here was to hang with him again. We hadn't seen eachother in years before I we both ended up here. After college I went south and he went west. Then he came back part way east, and I went north west, and BAM! there we were.

There's a big gathering for him this week. On Thursday night. I'm looking forward to it. Beer, beer and more beer.

/logoff