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10 Jan 2006The holidays are over. The world is new again. A new chapter in our lives is starting. At least, that's what we all tell ourselves. Hopefully this time it will be true.
I'm not sure exactly what it is that makes us need to have waypoints in our lives. Little markers that we can see our lives through. That was the year that I went to college. That was the year I had that horrible job. That was the year that I fell in love with her. That was the year that she broke my heart. That was the year that the tsunami hit. That was the year that nothing happened.
I'm not saying I disagree with it. I need them too. Although I can't really explain why. I think it's probably a way to let us lie to ourselves. A way to say “Well, that's over with. It shouldn't ever happen again.” and move on.
This holiday break was amazing for me. It felt so good to leave everything behind and see my family for the first time in far too long. Since then, it's been tipping downhill. This hasn't exactly been the start to the year I was hoping for.
So far it has been an interesting year. I've had friends come visiting, bringing their dog up for a specialist doctor. Sadly, their dog is going to have to have one of it's eyes removed and replaced with a silicon eye. The specialist also said that the dog will go blind in the other eye in 3 months to 2 years, depending on treatment.
My computer gave up the ghost and died on me. Hopefully I can get it fixed soon. I started working on it. I had to go way back to basics to figure out the exact problem and fix it. It turned out that one of my sticks of RAM was causing instability in Dual-Channel mode. So now I have to go pick up some new RAM after work. Hopefully tonight I'll be back online.
And now, for the introspective:
Why is it that we never really want what we think we do after we get it? Why is it that when things start to go well and we start to settle in, something major inevitably goes wrong? Why won't someone give me $1.5 Million so that I can give them $5 Million over the next 7 years?
This year is still very young, but already it has been very strange. I used to be Rock Star. I used to be a Hero. What am I now? Someone who is looking for something. I think I know what it is, but do I really? Recent events make me question that. It seems that in the past, quite often when I thought I wanted something, in the end when I had it, it turned out it didn't really matter. Why can't we truly know how amazing something is until we lose it?
As a final thought I'll ask the online realm, whatever has become of ?