Track 13 - Good Man

13 Nov 2005

I've always tried to be a good man. No matter how much crap it gets me in or how many great things walk away because of it.

It's hard to be honest in today's world. It's hard to stand for and believe in things. It's hard not to cave to the whims of the mob of humanity.

I have always been me though. I know what I believe in. I know what I stand for. So I do that. It keeps me from being really cool in a lot of people's minds. I don't really mind though. If you can't be true to yourself, then what use are you to everyone else?

Of course, there are always lapses. Well, maybe “lapse” isn't the right term. It's more like you can move along though life living in a way that you think makes you a good person. Then things happen and you realize that you aren't as good as you thought you were.

Then you have a crisis of self. You start to think “No, I was a good person” but you are countered by the reality that “No, you really weren't”. It can slow you down for a while as you fumble with it. Trying not to let your self or your ego go crashing to the ground where they will no doubt shatter.

In retrospect there have been moments in my life where if someone had asked me at that very moment “Do you think that you're a bad man?” I would have resolutely answered “No, I'm the worst man.”

Of course those times would normally be right after a break up. When the girl walks away and I'm left there wondering what went wrong? Where did I mess it all up? Why wasn't I good enough?

That's the end. That's the last track. The album is over. Okay, there is actually a bonus track, but I'm not going to cover that one. I'll leave that as an exercise for the reader (I've always wanted to say that).

I also believe that this has been successful. The album has mostly been worked out of my system and more music is slipping into the rotation.