Track 02 - Blinded

02 Nov 2005

Love is unforgiving. It is unrelenting. It is unbelievable. It is the meaning of life. It is the meaning of death. It is the source of all emotion. It can fix everything, and it can break everything. It is beautiful. It is ugly. It can not be described.

If we are sad, love can make us happy. If we are angry, love can make us calm. If we hate someone, it is because there is not enough love or maybe there is too much. It can curl the edges of your lips into a smile against your will as you remember the magic times. Love can power us to unimaginable heights.

I think we have all had that love at some point in our lives. That love that burns too bright for the other, but just right for you. It ends up as heartache and unknown mistakes. We find a way to stay friends though. Life without them is just to much to even consider. It might burn a little deep down inside, it might ache to see them, but that is so much less painful than not having them in your life at all.

They move beyond the relationship. They find a way beyond you. You however are always a fallen one, blinded like you're looking into the sun when you see them. Every time you see them joyous memories return. Gems of love and hope that you thought were lost seem to be found. That person knew you, maybe they even still know you.

In the dark, weak, moments you sometimes think to yourself that you never gave up on them, and you wonder why they gave up on you. You think about all of that damage that you both did to each other. Those things you should never think about. In the face of the sun everything becomes so bright that you can only see the dark. Then their laugh startles you, you smile, and your lost inside their eyes and that friendship again. Everything bad that ever happened slips beneath the surface.

Somewhere inside they still know you love them. The know that you still love them in a way that will never die. It scares them just a little because they don't feel the same love back. At the same time, if pressed to answer why it scares them, they would probably say that it is because they are afraid no one will ever love them the same way again. That unconditional love. Sometimes you wonder the same thing. You get scared that you will never be able to love someone else as much as you loved them.

Then right out of the bright blue something amazing will fall into you life. It will smile at you. That special mischievous smile. That whole being smile from the hanging of the hair, to the look in the eyes, to the curve of the lips and the posture of the body. You enter it all tentatively at first. Hesitating. Resisting. Unsure and wobbly-kneed from fear and wonder.

You make new memories. You find new love. Somehow the fires of the past and their undying embers start to cool. Life opens itself before you once again. You start to see a bright and beautiful world. A world where you want to live. A place where you start to think again that maybe you can be happy. Maybe you can give yourself completely. Give them your heart which seems to have reappeared again. The heart that they deserve for they are the one who found it.

You see that first person again. You still care for them. You are still blinded by them. By the brightness that used to exist between the two of you. However, no matter how bright that light seems to be, it has faded some. Standing beside you is the person that you are even more blinded by. The light between you and the new person is just that much brighter.

Love is blind after all. Love is not something that can be seen with the eyes. True beauty can't be witnessed. It can only be experienced.

When you see someone with your heart, and you fall for what you see, nothing else matters. You can see them when they are older. Grey haired. Wrinkled. Bald. Fat. Rail thin. Frail. Broken. You can see it all and none of it matters. That is only the outside. That is the ever changing part. That part has nothing to do with why you love them. You will always see them at their most beautiful. If anything you will find them more and more beautiful the longer you are together. As they start to show you their inner heart and you start to show them yours. That place behind all of the walls that no one but the self normally gets to see. You will be forever blinded by them.

Tune in tomorrow for “Forget Myself”