Out of the Vein
31 Oct 2005I'm going to try something new. You see, I bought Third Eye Blind's album Out of the Vein recently. I've always been a fan of their music. I always get completely sucked into the stream of consciousness lyrics they have. So much so that maybe it's an audio addiction. Since I bought it two or three weeks ago I've listened to some of the songs in excess of 300 times. That's just the count at work. Count in that I listen to it at home as well and… yeah, that's a whole lot.
I thought of this idea while reading one of 's entries that listed “What songs are you listening to now?.” I realized that I have only been listening to this one small collection. I throw in another band here or there, or one of their old albums; but basically I listen to this. This album just happens to be completely in-tune with my life at the moment. I can't even explain why it is, because I don't know why it is.
The idea is that I will do a series of blogs using the titles of the songs and in the order of the songs on the album. The entries will probably have nothing to do with the songs themselves, but will just revolve around the titles or some key lyrics and their relation to my life; or exploring why they hit me just right.
Plus, I know I haven't been updating my blog very frequently so maybe this will mean a string of frequent updates. Maybe even daily. And hey, it gives me an excuse to listen to the music over and over some more.
So let's start with the title. Out of the Vein.
Blood comes out of veins. So does gold and most other things that glitter. Everything that comes out of a vein is pure and honest. Unless it's a junkies vein I guess. They might have a veritable cocktail of chemical mishaps floating around in there at any given time. Regardless, this is about normal, because most people are more normal than they believe.
My life has been very real lately. Real and pure and true, like blood, there haven't been any lies. Illusions and dreams have started to fall down on the rocks of reality and other equally powerful events.
Once in a while I used to let myself bleed out. Not in the literal physical sense, but in the emotional and psychological sense. I've gone back to internalizing a lot of things; letting the pressure build inside. My hope has been turned in to a weapon in a certain sense I guess. The problem is that it turns into the only type of weapon that hope can turn into, a self-destructive one.
Hope is a drug. It can take you to wonderful heights, but it has a horrible withdrawal period. Some people never recover. Especially creative people struggle with hope. There is something in the creative mind that strings itself out on a razor edge between hope and despair. It's a horrible affliction leading to wonder and chaos.
Hand in hand with hope is the ownership of a big heart. Being a being that feels things very intensely is beautiful and frightening. Each friendship is felt so much more strongly. Each loss is felt so much deeper.
There is always a beginning and there is always an end. We don't always get to choose how, or when, or where. I think that's why life is so amazing. We are completely in control while also being completely out of control. It's all up to us, even when there is nothing we can do about it.
So let's kick off this experiment. This journey of audio relation. Let's see how much more I can say without truly saying anything. Tune in tomorrow for the first real installment “Faster”.