The Day: One Minute at a Time

14 Sep 2005

Sometimes they hurt. The little things, the simple things, the once happy things. Sometimes they dig and claw and bend and break. The world is like that. Life has it's ways.

Sometimes they feel wonderful. The big things, the hard things, the once uncomfortable things. Sometimes they float and fly and jump and sing. The world is like that. Life has it's ways.

I've been missing people. Lots of people. Some more than others. Some less as time passes. Some more as time elapses. I find myself wondering. Where are they? What are they doing? Are they happy? My big heart bleeds with wonder.

During the day the minutes feel like hours. During the night the hours feel like minutes. I hate this paradox. This way in which the fun moments are so fleeting and the unwanted moments stretch, and stretch, and streeeeeeeeeeetch.

I want something simple. It's so simple that it's hard. It's so hard that it feels unlikely. It's so unlikely that it seems impossible. So simply impossible.

She exists. I know she does. I can feel it in the magic moments between waking and sleeping and sleeping and waking. The missing piece. The one who carries with her the rest of my soul. That person who is broken in just the right way to fit together with me.

I will teach her to see the world through my eyes. To see the beauty and to find the good in everything. She will teach me about myself and freedom and so many other things I can't even fathom.

We will share all of our moments. The cold ones, the warm ones. I will hold her when she needs to be held. I will let her go when she needs to be free. I will push her when she needs to be pushed. I will stop her when she needs to be stopped. She will do all of the same for me.

It won't always be easy. Who would want it to be? Where is the sense of accomplishment, of achievement, if something is easy? It will be worth it. It will last.

How did I get here? It has been such a strange day. Most recently puncuated by the fact that I bought a Kit-Kat. Mmmmmm. All I could think was “Kit-Kat. I can't wait to eat that.” Then I opened it, and it looked good. Then I bit into it, but it didn't crunch. There was no wafer. Only chocolate. So sad… I threw it away. The chocolate was fine, but not what I wanted. I wanted a chocolate coated wafer.

I blame it all on chocolate milk. I love it, love it, love it. It doesn't like me though. It makes me feel all weird and bad most of the time. Mmmmmm, I should go buy some.

My mind is missing some key ingredient these past few days. It must be sleep, or maybe rest. They two are not neccesarily exclusive, neither are they neccesarily inclusive. In my case, they don't normally come together.

Be well friends.

Philosophy trounced by chocolate yet again.