Ghost

31 Jul 2005

I saw a ghost today. Not the kid dressed up in a white sheet or the translucent spectre type, but the haunting person from the past type.

It really is one of those coincidences that makes you just shake your head at the world and wonder what the hell? Why the hell?

She, yes, isn't it always a she? She was a friend and more than a friend at times from long, long ago. We were really good friends, able to always have fun together, able to always talk to eachother. Then one day, she just stopped talking to me. I don't know what happened, and neither do any of our mutual friends.

Well, I saw her today. We passed eachother through the doors of a Burger King. I was walking out with my brother in law and my sister and she was walking in with her parents. To make it extra strange, the city that our paths crossed in, I was in there for mere minutes. I was simply passing through. Also, supposedly she isn't living in that city any more either. So what are the odds that she from Toronto (or so I've been told) and I from Montreal would bump into eachother in the 15 minutes I happen to be in the old city that we went to university in on the east coast!?!

To top it all off, I had had a dream about her the night before. I could even hear her voice in my head exactly like it always sounded. I remember distinctly waking up in the middle of the night, putting my hands over my hears and yelling “What the f**k!” into my pillow. It was the first time I had had a dream or even really thought about her in over a year, and them BAM! the next day there she is.

Like any good ghost, she truly haunts me. She was such a good friend. We were the kind of friends that would just call eachother at midnight and ask “Hey. Are you doing okay?” No other reason. Literally just to say hi and are you okay.

I always thought of her as my angel. For the most part, my guardian angel. I can honestly say that I don't think I'd be alive today if she and I hadn't been friends. She stuck by me through some really dark days in my life. She was always there to listen when I was having months on end of horrible nightmares.

Just like any ghost sighting, I'm left a little shaken. I won't think right, I won't act right, I won't sleep right, I won't be right for days. Any time our paths cross the undeniable cold chill of “what went wrong?” always crawls, all tingly and strange, up along my spine.

I'm never going to get to sleep tonight… and I have to go to that wedding tomorrow. I'm going to be wreck. I hope the surprise that is supposed to be at the wedding for me isn't too big. I don't want to deal with any more shocks this weekend. Scarily enough, most people think the surprise for me, will be that my Ghost will be there… They all joke about it and tease me, which just tells me that they don't really understand.

I think that the rollercoaster is at the peak of another hill again, and there's no way to get off of this ride…