Once Upon a Time...

18 Jun 2005

Once upon a time I thought I could be a writer. I worked at it. I used to spend entire evenings growing ideas into worlds and characters. A lot of it was really just therapy for me.

I've been wondering if that is something I need to try again? I've been wondering if it is something that I still have in me? Somewhere deep inside a writer is really all I want to be (aside from the obvious independantly wealthy dream).

Is it worth chasing? Is it something I can do? What would I write?

I seem to be missing some direction at the moment. Where can I find it?

Up until now my goal was always to get out of where I was. Well, I'm now out of there. So what's next? What is the next goal to go after?

I need to decide. I need to find out.

Hmm. Words used to be my friends. I think I want them to be again.

Maybe drawing would be something great to get back into as well. But can I face the demon's that drawing brings? Am I willing to return to nightmares every night?

I always thought when I was younger that life would get easy at some point. I never realised that it was easy then, and it would only get harder from there. If I had known, my youth would have gone completely differently. Then again, I'd probably be dead or in jail by now if it had been different, so maybe it wasn't so bad?

Uggh. Enough randomness.

I don't mind being lost in the real world, sometimes that's even fun. Being lost in life though, it eats away at a person.