15 Nov 2005
It's the second act of a three act show. The crowd is restless after a 30 minute break to setup the stage between bands. The lights go down and the crowd goes silent for a moment before breaking out into shouts.
The lights flash on. The band is standing there. Nonchalant and ready to rock. They start into their first song. It's fast and it's good. The lead bass tears off his hoodie and throws it to the crowd. The hoodie flies up into the air, again, again, soon more from the crowd join it. The place becomes a wave of humanity and airborne clothing.
The lights pulse to a random rythm. Purple of Heaven. Red of blood. Orange of Hell. Green of ocean. Blue of sky. White of wonder. Then strobe lights pepper the crowd. A white so bright it blisters like the sun without clouds.
Somewhere into the third song bodies start floating on a sea of unknown hands. Shoes are falling off and being thrown across the crowd. People are heaving and flying.
Bounce… Bounce… Bounce… Bounce. Bounce. Bruise!
The show is electric. It's oppressive with it's energy. The angry crooner shouts and screams and then treats everyone to the sounds of a beautiful voice, and then shouts and screams some more.
Everyone is into it.
It's so good it's unbearable. You just want to lose control in the crowd. Flail your arms. Shake your head. Move your body with the moment.
Live music isn't about the band or the song. It's about the people. The crowd. The freedom of the mob.
Move. Shake. Jump. Dance. Sing. Scream. Be a part of it. Live that moment. Celebrate the music. Celebrate life.
There it is. The second to last song. It's the song everyone came to hear. It's the song that the whole crowd knows. It spills over everyone. They pause and soak it in. More than hearing it they feel it. It is experienced as it never could be before. This is the time when songs take you over.
It's the last song. The crowd is heaving left and right. The music of the band is hovering somewhere just above the constant roar of the crowd. This is a great moment. This is what it is all about. The euphoria.
The musicians bounce around the stage like wild men from a tribal culture. Arms swinging. Bodies jumping. Hammering down on instruments with perfect timing. Up. Down. They are everywhere. They are working the only magic they know and they are lost in it all just like us.
The band bows. They thank the crowd, state their name, and fade away. The crowd slowly settles from it's audio high.
13 Nov 2005
I've always tried to be a good man. No matter how much crap it gets me in or how many great things walk away because of it.
It's hard to be honest in today's world. It's hard to stand for and believe in things. It's hard not to cave to the whims of the mob of humanity.
I have always been me though. I know what I believe in. I know what I stand for. So I do that. It keeps me from being really cool in a lot of people's minds. I don't really mind though. If you can't be true to yourself, then what use are you to everyone else?
Of course, there are always lapses. Well, maybe “lapse” isn't the right term. It's more like you can move along though life living in a way that you think makes you a good person. Then things happen and you realize that you aren't as good as you thought you were.
Then you have a crisis of self. You start to think “No, I was a good person” but you are countered by the reality that “No, you really weren't”. It can slow you down for a while as you fumble with it. Trying not to let your self or your ego go crashing to the ground where they will no doubt shatter.
In retrospect there have been moments in my life where if someone had asked me at that very moment “Do you think that you're a bad man?” I would have resolutely answered “No, I'm the worst man.”
Of course those times would normally be right after a break up. When the girl walks away and I'm left there wondering what went wrong? Where did I mess it all up? Why wasn't I good enough?
That's the end. That's the last track. The album is over. Okay, there is actually a bonus track, but I'm not going to cover that one. I'll leave that as an exercise for the reader (I've always wanted to say that).
I also believe that this has been successful. The album has mostly been worked out of my system and more music is slipping into the rotation.
13 Nov 2005
Company is about friendship. It's about how your significant views your friends. It's about how you get in trouble for hanging out with your friends because they're considered to be “Bad Company” by your significant other.
I really can't say that I have a lot of experience with that. So this will be a very short entry. It's the only song on the album that I can't relate deeply to on some level.
My friends are just so laid back and cool, that I can't imagine someone not being able to get along with them. At least, it hasn't happened yet.
Some of them are a little whacked, no doubt, but they're all good people.
And next, the final track “Good Man”.
11 Nov 2005
Supposedly this song, according to most people, is about doing heroin or other drugs. Some people say that it's about sex.
I can see those references and and I can see reasoning behind those statements, but to me that isn't what it's about. It uses those thing as metaphors and avenues for explanation.
I see it as about being in a relationship. One of those relationships that people don't approve of, for whatever reason. It's that feeling of a double standard when you are with someone and your friends can't understand it, but it's perfectly fine for them to date whoever they want.
It's about the stress that a situation like that puts on the relationship. It's about that terrible discussion of where you try to get across that you want to keep working at the relationship and you hope that they do too. It's about looking at the person and being able to tell them from the heart that they are the only thing that's real in the world.
Tune in tomorrow for “Company”
11 Nov 2005
So apparently I slacked yesterday and I didn't get my entry done. So that means today will be a double dose.
“It's so good, to believe…”
I have no idea what this song is really about. I know what it means to me though. That line quoted above is the one that really hits home. It is so good to believe.
I have a great appreciation for people who believe. I believe in my friends and my family. I believe in myself. I can't seem to believe in those big vaporous things that so many seem to be able to believe in though.
I tried believing in God. I wanted to. I wasn't able to though. I am drawn to people who are believers in things like that. People with faith. I think I'm drawn to them because I want to understand how to develop something like that. How can I gain this sense of being tied to something greater and all important?
How can I learn to pray away my sins?
I hope my children can find this type of faith. It seems like a wonderful source of personal strength.
When I failed to find God in my life and in my ways, I found faith in people. I believe in people. I believe that everyone I meet is a good person deep down inside until the prove me wrong.
I learned how to find the good in each person. I also learned how to find the good inside of every situation no matter how bad it may seem. Sometimes there isn't any saving grace for something that seems bad, but there usually is.
If you happen to find your faith in Palm Readers, so be it. I don't really believe in it, but my sister does. The palm readers/tea leave readers/psychics that she visits once a year are eerily accurate quite often though. Especially this year.
They knew that a younger man in her life had moved for a new job recently and had a health scare. That aptly describes my year. This person she saw also said that this younger man would find everything he was looking for where he was now. So hope against hope, dangerous weapon that it is, I want to believe in that.
I want to believe that I will find everything that I am looking for here in Montreal.
Alas, I'm not a believer in fortune telling or God. Just myself and those around me. So I will not let my hopes rise high enough to cut me down.
Tune in later today for “Self Righteous”.