23 Jan 2006
My friends are leaving where I work at an alarming rate right now. Friday was the last day for my best friend Jamie. Today my friend Gary, who was our creative director, got flat out fired. No warnings or anything. Just a meeting and BAM!
To add to this, another friend mysteriously took the afternoon off.
So here we are, 7 weeks away from Alpha, and we are bringing in a new creative director with a new creative vision for the game. I feel like a deer caught in the headlights. All I can see right now is the insane and inescapable overtime bearing down on me. I can see this easily turning into exactly what I came here to get away from.
I got tired of working a 12 hour day and thinking, “Wow. That was a nice short day.” 60+ hour weeks are for people who don't have lives or friends. If you have either or both of those, 60+ hour weeks will take them away.
I came to work here for two reasons. One, to see my best friend again and hang out for the first time in years. Two, to get away from the 60+ hour weeks and weekends. Now with my best friend gone, and the 60+ hour weeks on the horizon, I don't know if this is right for me anymore.
I've been thinking about going back to EA for a long time. I really love Montreal though. It's hard to say if I could get in to the one here. I know a few of the other studios are just a phone call away, but, ugggh… I really do love Montreal!
What also sucks is that if I were to go to the west coast, I wouldn't be able to keep raiding in WoW with my current group. However, if I stay where I am, and the impending overtime doom comes, I won't be able to keep raiding with them either.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Why does this shit happen in my life?
Why can't anything ever be easy and feel right, right from the beginning?
I need a banana cupcake :P
23 Jan 2006
So I decided today that I'm going to buy an iPod? Why? Meh. No reason more than I want one I guess.
So when I do get it, I'm going to have it engraved. What I'm looking for are some suggestions on what to get it engraved with. The engraving's maximum space consists of two lines which are each a maximum of 27 characters. So that's up to a ~54 character engraving max.
Fire away with suggestions :)
22 Jan 2006
From the dictionary:
gen·u·ine
adj.
- Actually possessing the alleged or apparent attribute or character: genuine leather.
- Not spurious or counterfeit; authentic. See Synonyms at authentic.
3.
- Honestly felt or experienced: genuine devotion.
- Actual; real: a genuine dilemma.
- Free from hypocrisy or dishonesty; sincere.
- Being of pure or original stock: a genuine Hawaiian
I asked someone last night what they thought of me. They said that I was genuine, honorable and loyal. I really only remember this because of alcohol induced dreaming, and the fact that I didn't close my IM conversation when I headed to bed to pass out.
I found it sort of interesting. The word genuine doesn't tend to come up in day to day conversation. Most people would hardly ever think to use it. However, this seems to be the first word that people always think of when they describe me.
Of course, I take being called genuine as a compliment =)
The last woman that told me I was genuine went on to tell me that if she didn't have a boyfriend she would probably fall in love with me. Which was interesting, because if she hadn't had a boyfriend I would have probably let myself fall completely in love with her too.
The woman who told me I was genuine last night is someone I consider to be quite a special. She has this wonderful sense of freedom about her. She makes me smile every single day. She has become a wonderful friend. She is definitely someone I hope to get to know better and learn more about. I would like to be around in some capacity to witness the challenges, successes and failures of her life; for I think her life will be a wonderful journey.
Anyway, there is this very odd parallel that exists between these two women. From how we met, right down to where they are from and the names of the places they moved. Now, freaky coincidences like this always seem to happen throughout my life, so I don't really think anything more of them than “Hey, now that is odd.” or “Hahaha” because words don't always work.
And as of tonight, they both have access to my blog. My journal. My little place where my mind wanders and my heart rests snugly on my sleeve. The place where I don't hide things.
Hasta manana Chica
19 Jan 2006
Today is a better place than yesterday was. Saturday will undoubtedly be a worse place. So for now, I think I'll just live in the moment and in the day. Really, what more can you do?
I could plan the rest of my life out. I could plan how wonderful it would be and everything I would accomplish with it. You know what would happen then? I'd get hit by a bus somewhere along the way and I would have missed out on all of those moments in the here and the now. A single wonderful moment today is worth more than a dozen planned ones that never happen.
Speaking of wonderful moments, epiphanies are great. I had one last night. It's so amazing to be sitting around thinking to yourself “What the hell is wrong? What is going on? Why?” and then have that forehead slapping moment of clarity when it all comes together.
I think that epiphany is why I slept fairly well last night. I that that it is always nice to have fewer things on your mind when you try to sleep. I am quite pleased to have gotten decent rest last night as well. The whole > 2am-
18 Jan 2006
Today in goold old Montreal it is raining. It is freezing raining. The sidewalks are currently a way to weed out the weak among the population. Those who do not have balance will die and be removed from the race via the survival of the fittest rule.
Streets everywhere were closed down. Jammed full with traffic or blocked off by police barricades. I have never seen anything like it since moving here. Several of the high traffic streets were closed; Pins, Penfield, Atwater. It's just “le fou”.
Normally it takes me 15-20 minutes to get to work when I hop a cab. Today it took almost an hour. I took a cab because I was unwilling to break my neck on the ice.
People were actually walking down the street between lanes of traffic because it was safer to do that, than it was to use the sidewalks. At one point I almost had the cab driver stop and let me out. I was thinking about just hopping the metro home and calling in “sick” due to weather.
Oh well, at least the craziness of the world takes my mind off the crazyiness of life for a while.