Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

The Dissipation of Will

Thursday, November 26th, 2009

What do you do when work loses it’s appeal? You know, that point where it actually becomes work; and not fun?

I have worked some soul sucking jobs during my life. I would even go so far as to say soul crushing. Yet, when I look back at those days I remember them with a fond disassosciation. The bonds that were forged back then were lifelong.

However, even during those soul crushing times there were things to look forward to. The work was interesting. I even developed a bit of a love hate relationship with the sports of Cricket and Rugby. The games we turned out even had some aspects to them which were actually fun.

After I finally got out of there I vowed not to work like that ever again. That work would be fun, and if not fun at least challening and rewarding. I promised myself that I wouldn’t wake up every day thinking ‘Fuck. Do I really have to go?’

Work is starting to get that way again. I don’t care about the product I’m working on at all. I can’t even refer to it as being a game without uncontrollable spasms of horror. It can’t even really be classified as entertainment.

If I wanted to just make software, I wouldn’t choose to do it at a game company. Plus, I would choose to make something interesting.

So far all of the technically interesting work has been cut due to capacity. There in lies the problem. You see, I like to solve puzzles.

I need something interesting to do. Something to hold my attention and keep my mind turning. I’ve had about two days worth of interesting work in the last three months.

Does anyone out there have something interesting for me to do? Gears of War 3? HALO 4? Google? I need something like that. Something fun. Something I myself would play or do.

It might be time to dust off the resume again…

Stuff Goes Here

Monday, October 19th, 2009

There is no such thing as free time. At least not for me.

Work is a use case for insanity these days. My team is slowly ramping up to five people. I can’t remember the last time it was bigger than two; and that’s including me. Plus it has been about five years since I’ve been a true lead. So I’m still readjusting.

I had forgotten how many more meetings you have to go to as a lead as well. It’s just crazy! You simply can’t be productive if you’re not at your desk.

Due to all of this I’ve been much more stressed than I have been since the old HB days. I need to rediscover the secret to pushing work out of my mind when I walk out of the office.

The scope of this year’s project is unparalleled to anything I have ever done in the past and is simply too daunting to be pushed aside. When something begins to blot out the sun; it’s hard not to focus on it.

I can still remember when making video games for a living was fun. I miss that feeling. When it was us against the world! Now it feels more like me against bureaucracy.

Border Woe

Friday, September 25th, 2009

They are searching every one going both ways across the border. Good start to the weekend?

Phone-tastic

Monday, August 24th, 2009

I finally joined the smart phone revolution. In fact i’m blogging from my phone right now!

No, I didn’t get an iPhone. I looked at them, and yes they are cool, but I like mine even more. I ended up getting an HTC Magic; one of the phones running Google’s Android OS. It fits well since my life is basically Google-powered anyway. Everything has worked smoothly and intuitively right out of the box.

Since getting the new phone and literally having the internet at my fingertips I’ve been going through a phase that I can only compare to when I first got internet access 12 years ago. I’m up until ridiculously late every night just surfing the web, listening to internet radio and watching YouTube.

It is also my first GPS device. GPS + internet is very cool and filled with possibilities! Some of the “augmented reality” applications are very cool. One example is using the GPS+maps+camera to overlay the map data on top of the live camera image using the GPS data.

Well hopefully this post works :)

The Getaway

Thursday, August 6th, 2009

Things sure haven’t been ideal at work lately. If you read the gaming news you’ll know that the project I’ve been working on (which I won’t mention here) has been put on hold. As part of this change I’ve been moved to a new project. A project that I have zero interest in.

I hate times like these. Going from something great to something terrible.

On the plus side, it means that I got my compensation time a little earlier than planned and I have enjoyed having the week off. We headed over to Salt Spring Island for the long weekend, and it was fantastic. They have one of the top rated Farmer’s Markets in Canada, and it definitely lived up to the billing. We love food, and it surely delivered.

We also had fun touring around the island. I think I could have stayed there forever. It reminded me a lot of small town life, and how in some ways I really miss that. I miss being in a community of friendly people where strangers say Hello on the street. A place that isn’t over run with the homeless. Most importantly, a place where life is a little more relaxed.

Once again, the thoughts of running my own studio have drifted back into my mind. It is pretty much a given that at some point I will end up working for myself or starting a company either myself or with others I know and would love to work with again. Being a low paid cog in a multibillion dollar machine can be a little depressing at times.

Enough of that, time for some pictures!

In addition to the Market, the view and the farms; we also found a great little restaurant. The kind of place we wish we could find around where we live. If you are ever in Ganges on Salt Spring Island I whole heartedly recommend that you should stop by Auntie Pesto’s (their homepage is under construction, so this is a link to the Salt Spring Island Chamber of Commerce site that has the pertinent details for the restaurant) for a bite to eat. I have never encountered such a perfect balance of quality, portion size and value. It was so good, we went twice and nearly trekked our way there for a third round with their menu.

And now it is time for a couple of days of dedicated gaming before making the return to the grind.