It’s the end of the month. How fitting. The end of the month. Potentially the end of a stage in my life.
By even mentioning it, I’m sure that I have broken the rules of the Jinx, and thus all hope might be shattered. Then again, maybe not. I’m not really that superstitous. I have been party to many happenings in my life that seem to go too far beyond mere coincidence though.
I had almost forgotten what dreams and goals were like. I was getting comfortable in my life. Settling down and accepting things as they were. Somewhere in the back of my head I was subconsciously having a problem with that. I know this, because I have been having a harder and harder time getting a good night’s sleep. However, since taking steps to change my world recently, I have been sleeping wonderfully. I go to bed late. I wake up early. I feel rested. It’s like it used to be.
I was sitting on the edge of my bed this morning and just couldn’t stop smiling as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I’ve wanted this job, this project, since 1993. I wasn’t even in highschool yet back then. I didn’t even know what I wanted to do with my life. It wasn’t anything I ever thought about because I just filled my head with crazy dreams every day. Now it’s right there. RIGHT THERE! Just sitting in front of me. I hope it goes smoothly and I can take advantage of this opportunity.
There are several aspects of the whole situation that make me not want to take it. Even all summed up together though, they aren’t enough of a negative weight. This is something that has to be done. Yes I will miss Montreal. It’s an amazing city overflowing with life. The music scene, oh how I will miss the music scene. I’ve had the chance to see some great bands play live here in small venues.
I will also really miss my raid group if things can’t be worked out to allow me to keep going with them. I’ve been there with them since day one, and not very many people can say that. I want to be there as they continue to knockdown challenge after challenge. It has been a long, hard road for us all. Many friendships have been built and destroyed. Many people have come and gone.
I know inside, that this is the right thing to do. Just like I know coming to Montreal was the right thing to do. There are none, and there will be, no regrets over this. No matter if the change ends up costing me more than it gains me. Tigers must run free and let their pugmarks tell the tale.
– “Go west young man, and grow up with the country” –
(That means you too Meghan)