Hidden Pugmarks

I saw a ghost today. Not the kid dressed up in a white sheet or the translucent spectre type, but the haunting person from the past type.

It really is one of those coincidences that makes you just shake your head at the world and wonder what the hell? Why the hell?

She, yes, isn't it always a she? She was a friend and more than a friend at times from long, long ago. We were really good friends, able to always have fun together, able to always talk to eachother. Then one day, she just stopped talking to me. I don't know what happened, and neither do any of our mutual friends.

Well, I saw her today. We passed eachother through the doors of a Burger King. I was walking out with my brother in law and my sister and she was walking in with her parents. To make it extra strange, the city that our paths crossed in, I was in there for mere minutes. I was simply passing through. Also, supposedly she isn't living in that city any more either. So what are the odds that she from Toronto (or so I've been told) and I from Montreal would bump into eachother in the 15 minutes I happen to be in the old city that we went to university in on the east coast!?!

To top it all off, I had had a dream about her the night before. I could even hear her voice in my head exactly like it always sounded. I remember distinctly waking up in the middle of the night, putting my hands over my hears and yelling “What the f**k!” into my pillow. It was the first time I had had a dream or even really thought about her in over a year, and them BAM! the next day there she is.

Like any good ghost, she truly haunts me. She was such a good friend. We were the kind of friends that would just call eachother at midnight and ask “Hey. Are you doing okay?” No other reason. Literally just to say hi and are you okay.

I always thought of her as my angel. For the most part, my guardian angel. I can honestly say that I don't think I'd be alive today if she and I hadn't been friends. She stuck by me through some really dark days in my life. She was always there to listen when I was having months on end of horrible nightmares.

Just like any ghost sighting, I'm left a little shaken. I won't think right, I won't act right, I won't sleep right, I won't be right for days. Any time our paths cross the undeniable cold chill of “what went wrong?” always crawls, all tingly and strange, up along my spine.

I'm never going to get to sleep tonight… and I have to go to that wedding tomorrow. I'm going to be wreck. I hope the surprise that is supposed to be at the wedding for me isn't too big. I don't want to deal with any more shocks this weekend. Scarily enough, most people think the surprise for me, will be that my Ghost will be there… They all joke about it and tease me, which just tells me that they don't really understand.

I think that the rollercoaster is at the peak of another hill again, and there's no way to get off of this ride…

I've suffered a lapse into creativity. I'm driven right now to do something. To write something. To just create something! I've been going through some of my old unfinished stories and thinking “How cool would it be if this was finished?” I mean, it would just have to be damn cool. Either because it turned out really well, or just because it was finished.

Tomorrow I make with the flying. It's odd that after this week getting to sleep in until 7:00am before I have to get up, get ready and make my way to the airport feels like a bonus.

Today I made with the licensing. It went smooth, like butter, like the surface of a fine water melon, like a touch of ice, like a nice beer. It just went well. So now I'm licensed to drive again!

Next weekend I have a really, and I mean REALLY crazy plan! I, am going, to f**king sleep! I'm not talking that light sleeping nappy bull. I'm talking full on, the neighbours with drumkits, the world with bombs, couldn't wake me up sleeping.

->Insert Rambling

So, think slow, be cool, drive fast. Yeah, it's all nonsense. Just spewed out there for the masses. It's like a tag line or a log line. Just there to try and pull you in. To sell you on what the product is that your about to digest with your mind and your self.

The world is fugged. At least the little microcosm I exist in. One of the best and nicest programmers at work said he was leaving today. Which sucks, because out of all of the programmers he's the one I've become the best friends with. It's good for him overall. I wish him the best, but damn.

Move to a new place. Make new friends. They move away. That stuff only happens in my world. Or at least it feels like it.

So I'm going to a wedding this weekend. My friend Amanda is taking that next wonderful step in her life. Somehow I always thought I'd get there first, but I wish her all the happiness in the world and only the best things in life. I hope she likes her present when she sees it

I bought some “real” clothes today for the wedding event. Tomorrow I might pick up some new shoe type items as well. I have to tell you, wearing a real shirt and real pants, it just makes me feel like a freak. Maybe once a month I don't wear a hockey jersey with jeans or shorts depending on the season. Silly yes, but oh so comfortable.

It'll be my second four day weekend in a row. My second flight tour out to the east coast and back to Montreal. It's getting re-god-damn-diculous, this whole flying thing. The planes keep getting smaller and smaller! Mind you, the passengers keep getting cuter and friendlier

By the time I get back it will be the 13th plane I've been on this year. I know that's not a lot for some people, but for me who just last year hadn't been on a plane since I was three, this is just getting out of hand. It's not that I don't like flying, it's that I don't like airports and more importantly, airport security.

I need more Emm Gryner and Tegan & Sara. Well, at least Sara *drool* she's so cute! Mostly I just want to see them live again. All of them, any of them. Emm is doing a living room tour this year, I wish I was in the area she was doing it in. I'd make room in my living room for sure!

Tomorrow I do the Driver's License Dance Part I. Hopefully there will only need to be one part, but let's face it, there will be many parts. It will become a trial of righteousness and patience. That's what these things do.

This entry needs some more randomness. So here's a sliver of the ever blossoming poetry tree that grows inside my head:

Out of my fingers
And into my cup
The world falls down
Because I'm full up

I know so many wonderful people. I hope some of them think I'm wonderful too.

Good night World!

It was a good four day weekend. No, it was an amazing four day weekend! Now, next weekend is four days too!

It was really great to see the old gang again. Hang out on the beach and drink a few beer (too many really) and have a nice barbecue. I miss the old team, and even the old company to some degree, but I sure don't miss the small town life. If I could transport all of that stuff here to Montreal, well, that would be awesome.

I wish I would have been down longer and had more time to talk to everyone. 15 hours just isn't enough to catchup with so many people. I hope they all come and visit, just a few at a time though, my place isn't that big

I also hope I get a chance to go back and visit them all again sometime. I know there are lots of couches out there for me to crash on.

The work late mode is slowly slipping into gear. I've never been a big fan of working late. It sort of sucks really. I'm more of a “If it was planned right, I wouldn't be here” kind of person.

I had my first review at work today. It seems to have gone well.

Oh, and I got a couch today. Super-comfy couch! So comfy I might sleep on it tonight

That's all in the world according to me today.

Hockey. It's back! I love it! For the first time in my life I'm living in a hockey city and I plan to go see some games! I'm going to go when the Red Wings come, the Oilers, the Flames and the Mighty Ducks… and well… as many others as I can afford to get to.

You know how sometimes friendships just change? You don't plan it, you don'tknow what happened for sure, but things are different? I hate that. It sucks so much.

I love when being lazy has some quirky beneficial side-effect. It's rare, but it happens sometime. It happened today. I didn't feel like taking a long trip to the edge of the known universe (Known as Montreal) and it turned out well. Had I gone it would have actually screwed something up.

/cheer laziness

My next two weekends are going to be hectic and crazy. So much time on planes. I'm starting to really not like them. Spending time crammed in a metal box high above the earth with a bunch of strangers just isn't how I like to spend my time.

Starting tomorrow I shift into minor miracle mode. It's been so long since I've been there. Then again, it's been so long since I had too. This week, the code will flow. I will become one with it. Good things will happen with it. A coder in the zone. All that jazz. Good times

I have a question, is the air conditioner or the dish washer the greatest invention? I love them both!