Hidden Pugmarks

I got home today and it was just like Christmas! I had a box of five brand new hockey jersey's waiting for me

So many more to go to complete the collection…

The streak keeps on keeping on. My first couch arrived this weekend and, well, it wouldn't fit in the elevator. It was 3 inches too long! What are the odds?

To top it off about an hour after the delivery guys left I found out that there was one elevator that had a ceiling that was a few inches higher, so it might have fit. Since it has been returned now though they won't try and re-deliver it.

So, I have to pick out a new shorter couch from the ones available at the store. Unfortunately the one I picked was the only one I really liked there. It's hard to find a kick-ass navy blue couch for some reason.

I have my fingers crossed that my other couch will fit when it arrives. It's almost time to get curtains as well. Woot!

The place is coming together and looking better with each thing that gets added. Hopefully by the end of July everything will be in place and then maybe I'll have a party!

I think Ilona is happy right now, that's so cool I love it when my friends are happy We have one of those long deep talks coming up, just giving you a warning

A congratulations goes out to my friend Lindsay and her new status as a successful triathlete! That kicks butt!

For Amanda, I'll get to your wedding somehow. I mean, how could I miss it? I want to be there for all of the big days

For anyone else who might read this have a lovely day/week/month/year/life! Hope is all we have sometimes, never give up on it all

Oh yeah, I like smileys

Once upon a time I thought I could be a writer. I worked at it. I used to spend entire evenings growing ideas into worlds and characters. A lot of it was really just therapy for me.

I've been wondering if that is something I need to try again? I've been wondering if it is something that I still have in me? Somewhere deep inside a writer is really all I want to be (aside from the obvious independantly wealthy dream).

Is it worth chasing? Is it something I can do? What would I write?

I seem to be missing some direction at the moment. Where can I find it?

Up until now my goal was always to get out of where I was. Well, I'm now out of there. So what's next? What is the next goal to go after?

I need to decide. I need to find out.

Hmm. Words used to be my friends. I think I want them to be again.

Maybe drawing would be something great to get back into as well. But can I face the demon's that drawing brings? Am I willing to return to nightmares every night?

I always thought when I was younger that life would get easy at some point. I never realised that it was easy then, and it would only get harder from there. If I had known, my youth would have gone completely differently. Then again, I'd probably be dead or in jail by now if it had been different, so maybe it wasn't so bad?

Uggh. Enough randomness.

I don't mind being lost in the real world, sometimes that's even fun. Being lost in life though, it eats away at a person.

Everything is eternally strange. I think that's one of those simple truths I keep hearing about. My life is eternally strange, and as rollercoastery as ever.

Something very important is almost done and ready for a very important day that is almost here. It should only take another couple of weeks to finish up I hope.

I finally got some furniture. Of course, it is only shelving and a closet organizer. Somehow life likes to hand me all of the things I need in the least convenient order. Part of the challenge I guess.

It also has a way of saying “Ha ha! You've wanted this for months, maybe even years! Here are nine but you can only pick one!” As well as taking away the hope that I live on at some of the worst times, like a kick to the ribs when I'm already down.

Overall life has been going fairly well. I get to see and hear about how happy everyone around me is, which in turn does make me happy. It can lead to some late night deep thinking though, where I wonder what it would be like if I could contribute more to their happiness, and why it is that I can't.

You have to take the good with the bad, and the bad with the good. I'm pretty sure that's another one of those simple truths.

Work is still pretty slow and dull. I'm thinking that if I overcomplicate the problems they are given me to solve, and in turn oversolve them, it might make it interesting enough to challenge me. I know they have some confidence in my ability, they did give me a task that affected over 6000 files in the project, but even that wasn't really challenging. It was just time consuming.

Maybe work is so easy right now because everything else in life is so complicated. I'd rather change it I think so that life was a challenge and everything else went a little smoother for a while.

*Random Thought* I really want a BBQ! I just can't seem to find a convenient way to get a propane tank filled.

/out

Sometimes, I feel so alone.